


a reason to love harder

by hollyandvice (hiasobi_writes)



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: Empath, M/M, Mind Meld, Pining
Language: eesti keel
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-07
Updated: 2021-02-07
Packaged: 2021-03-13 04:28:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29272488
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hiasobi_writes/pseuds/hollyandvice
Summary: Steve had grabbed at him a few moments later in the chaos after the explosion and Tony had shaken him off then too. That had been more instinctive, the habitual smack that he'd given Rhodey for years when he touched Tony with that cloying sense of pity. Steve's touch had felt just like that, and Tony had just wanted to get away.Tony used to avoid people because their emotions were too big, too much. Now, after months with the Avengers, he's gotten used to all the touchy-feely bullshit. So when Steve stops touching him, it hits harder than he'd expected.
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Comments: 7
Kudos: 52
Collections: POTS (18+) Stony Stocking 2020





	a reason to love harder

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Lacerta](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lacerta/gifts).
  * In response to a prompt by [Lacerta](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lacerta/pseuds/Lacerta) in the [stony_stocking_2020](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/stony_stocking_2020) collection. 



> Written for the POTS Stocking event for the following prompt:
> 
> _Tony is an empath and can feel others' emotions when he touches them. How does he react to Steve's anger when they first meet? Or how does he react when later he senses things he doesn't understand?_
> 
> Hope you enjoy, dear!

When Steve's anger had hit him the first time they met, Tony had nearly gagged from its intensity. It was overpowering — big, bright, and brilliant in all the ways Howard had said Steve was — and it had thrown Tony for a loop. It had come in flashes, quick brushes of skin on metal on skin, and Tony hadn't quite known what to do with it. And then, the one time he'd touched Steve for longer than an instant — stupid, pushing his limits, and why was he always so damn _stupid_ — he'd nearly passed out with the force of his rage. His only saving grace was that Steve had slapped his hand away before Tony could shut down.

(Steve had grabbed at him a few moments later in the chaos after the explosion and Tony had shaken him off then too. That had been more instinctive, the habitual smack that he'd given Rhodey for years when he touched Tony with that cloying sense of pity. Steve's touch had felt just like that, and Tony had just wanted to get away.)

((But Tony didn't remember that. Not really. Sense memory was a strange thing.))

So Tony had made it through that encounter unscathed. He'd figured they'd all go their separate ways, and Steve Rogers would just be a footnote in the biography of his life.

Except then Bruce had moved in. And then Thor had come stay when he was back on earth visiting Jane. Clint and Natasha had accepted his invitation after SHIELD transport had gotten them to a crisis too late. And Steve? Steve had made it approximately three weeks into his epic cross-country road trip before he'd gotten wind of what was going on in New York. He'd turned right back around to come home, and at that point, Tony couldn't really refuse him.

Even after all that, Tony had thought things would be okay. He and Steve got along well enough at first, and then better and better as the days went on. Tony taught everyone about shielding their thoughts from him and promised to try not to touch anyone without their permission. Thor and Clint had bulldozed right through his assurances, Clint by putting him in a headlock and Thor by lifting the pair of them off their feet.

"Not gonna happen," Clint had muttered into Tony's ear. It had surprised Tony at the time, what with the way Loki had scrambled his brain. barely a month before. It took another few months before he'd realized that even though Clint was a spy, he didn't believe in secrets among family.

All of that had been fine. Everyone had learned how to move through Tony's space with just the right amount of touch. Nat was cautious about her touch while Bruce was freer. And Steve— well, Steve had always been his own man, and this seemed to be much the same as the rest of it. He'd touched Tony intermittently, enough that he wasn't singled out in Tony's mind the way Nat was, but nothing like the way Thor was free with his hugs. Steve had fit nicely in the middle, and Tony hadn't complained.

Until now.

It had taken Tony about nine days to notice, which was longer than it would have if he'd been at full strength, but he'd been out with a concussion for the entirety of those nine days. But he'd noticed eventually, and when he had all he could be was hurt.

Steve hadn't touched him once since the fall.

Which, okay, fine, maybe he didn't want to touch an invalid. It hurt, but Tony would get over it. But that didn't scan. The last time he'd had a head injury, even a minor one, Steve had hovered way more than Tony was comfortable with. And now? Now he was all but absent. But that was fine, everything was fine, Tony just needed to wait him out, that was all. He'd recover from the worst of it in another few days, though not enough to be back in the field, and. then everything would go back to normal. He didn't need to look too closely. at why Steve's absence hurt so much. It was probably just the concussion talking.

Except then he got cleared for light exercise and screens (which, not being able to work with JARVIS in his normal interface for two weeks had been _hell_ ) and still Steve was nowhere to be seen. Oh sure, he'd show up at dinner and for movie nights and all the rest of that good old team-bonding bullshit, but he always kept far enough away from Tony to make it clear that he was avoiding him.

Tony had tried to be patient; he really had. But his skin itched like it was too tight, and his fingers fumbled with all the awkwardness of rage when he thought too hard about Steve avoiding him. There must have been a reason, but Ton couldn't for the life of him figure it out.

So when Steve went down hard in a fight while Tony was still benched, taking a solid minute to get himself off the ground while Tony was stuck in his lab, that was the last straw. Tony forced himself to hold his tongue while they finished off the deluge of Doombots, but he was going to have words with Steve when the team got home. _Words_.

Tony was on the quinjet landing pad with his best glare on when the team got back. Steve was first off the plane, ignoring the way Clint was crowding his space and the way Bruce was still insisting on dragging him to Medical.

"I'm fine," he said, glaring at both of them. "IT's nothing to worry about. I've taken worse."

"Doesn't mean you should be."

Steve's head snapped over to meet Tony's eyes. He tried to hide the wince, but Tony saw right through him.

"Thanks, team," Tony said, eyes still on Steve's. "I'll take it from here."

Clint opened his mouth to protest, but Bruce put a hand in his elbow and tugged him past Tony. Clint had taken a bad hit too, and Tony knew Bruce would get him to Medical as a way to keep him off the scent of what Tony was about to do. Thor had glanced between the two of them before striding past Tony into the Tower. But Nat. Nat had her eyes on Tony the whole walk from the quinjet to his side. She gripped his bicep and went up on tiptoe to whisper in his ear.

"Don't pull your punches."

"I won't." Tony wasn't quite sure which punches he wasn't supposed to be pulling, but he knew better than to argue with Natasha. He turned to look at her when she didn't let go. "I'm done putting up with this."

Nat smiled at that, sharp and knowing. "Good." She squeezed his arm and then dropped back to her heels. "Go get 'im, tiger."

Before Tony could parse that, he caught sight of Steve striding forward as though to ignore Tony. Tony pulled out of Nat's grip to intercept him. "Oh no you don't."

Steve pulled up short when Tony stepped in front of him. Tony thought he saw a brief flash of panic in Steve's eyes, but he covered it up quickly enough. "Iron Man."

"Captain."

A muscle twitched in Steve's jaw. "Stand down, Iron Man."

Tony tried not to flinch, but he didn't quite manage it. He swallowed, but didn't back down. "No, Steve. We're talking about this."

"There's nothing to talk about."

"No? You're planning on jumping headfirst into danger like that for the rest of your career?"

'I can take the hits, Tony."

"That's bullshit and you know it, Steve."

The muscle in Steve's jaw jumped again. "You're not in charge, Iron Man."

That one cut deeper than the rest, slicing open a place in Tony's heart that he hadn't known was there. Something on his face must have betrayed him, because Steve's mask slipped.

"Tony—"

"Oh so now I'm Tony again. When you want something from me. When you want me to placate whatever little piece in your heart wants to be absolved of your bullshit. Well I'm sorry, _Steven_ , but I'm not going to roll over and play dead just because you bared your teeth. I've heard worse than that from men with more power over me than you've ever had. We're talking about this even if I have to follow you all the way to your apartment and spend the night at your door."

Steve's face twisted, but he schooled it back to his normal expression before Tony could figure out what he wasn't saying. "Fine." He sidestepped Tony and headed toward the elevator down into the Tower.

Except he wasn't okay, not really, and Tony was able to catch up to him despite his brief moment of shock. "We're not finished here," he said. He grabbed Steve by the elbow, ready to pull him back to face him, except something shot through him, gentle and perfect and wanting, and he froze in shock.

There was a moment, an eternity in a moment, where he clung to Steve's arm and sank into the feeling. He should have known better than to reach into someone's soul — Maria had trained that out of him when he was a child — but living with the Avengers had changed everything, and _this_ —

Steve yanked his arm out of Tony's grip, leaving Tony stumbling. Steve's hands came up to catch Tony by his bare elbows and steady him, but that only served to make the sensations more intense. Tony's knees went weak as he tried to gather the pieces of his mind that Steve's emotions had left behind. He couldn't, though. They were huge and warm and bright and Tony couldn't _breathe_ —

"Tony?"

Tony closed his eyes, trying to untangle his mind from Steve's. He could hear his own harsh breathing but couldn't control it. It was too much, too beautiful and intense and Tony just _couldn't_ pull away. Not here. Not now. Not when it was—

Oh.

Suddenly the emotions weren't so big and scary. They were familiar, comfortable, _perfect_ , and Tony knew exactly what to do. He pushed up onto his tiptoes and brushed his lips against Steve's.

Steve inhaled sharply, and Tony felt the breath on his lips. His eyes fluttered closed and he leaned up a little closer, pressing his lips more firmly against Steve's.

Steve pulled back. "Tony, if this is some sort of— of trick or— or game to you, I—"

"Not a game," Tony whispered. His thoughts were still a scrambled mess, but this, loving Steve, was the clearest thought in all of it. "Want you. Love you."

The sob that Steve let loose sounded punched from his chest. "Tony—"

Tony closed his eyes, gathered his strength, and pulled away from Steve. Steve's fingers lingered on his elbows, trying to draw him back in, but Tony didn't let him. He blinked through the sudden absence of Steve in his mind, curling in on himself to try to account for the loss. He took a few harsh breaths, fighting down the gray at the edges of his vision. He stood up slowly, meeting Steve's eyes head on.

Steve looked terrified, broken, and it cut Tony to the quick. He wanted nothing more than to step back into Steve's space and smooth his hands over Steve's forehead, soothing the tension from his skin. But Steve wouldn't believe him if he said the words while they were touching. Idiot of a man, thinking that his feelings could make a lie of Tony's.

"I love you."

Tony blinked. He hadn't expected Steve to say it first. He'd thought he'd need to coax it out of him, word by word, breath by breath. But here they were, Steve declaring his feelings for Tony without any pressure from Tony.

"I know you know that already," Steve said, "but I just. I wanted to say the words. Before you say whatever it is that you're about to say, I wanted you to know. I wanted to say it."

Tony's heart clenched and it was all he could do not to reach out for Steve. There was only one way to make him believe, and Tony wasn't going to take any chances. "I love you too."

Steve's eyes shut tightly, and Tony knew what he was going to say before he said it. "You're just saying that because I—"

"Bullshit." Steve jerked back as though struck. "That's bullshit and you know it, Steve. Your emotions don't change mine. I feel what you feel when we're touching, sure, but I know my own mind, Steve. I know how I feel."

Steve stared at Tony, a quiet, desperate sort of hope in his eyes. "Promise?"

Tony's heart clenched. It shouldn't have hurt this much, but this was _Steve_ , so of course it did. "I promise."

Steve lunged forward at that, pulling Tony into his arms. Tony's lips parted on a gasp from the intensity of Steve's feelings, and Steve took full advantage of his moment of weakness to kiss him deeply. Tony clung to every part of Steve he could reach, trying to find skin to increase the intensity. The fingers of one hand found Steve's neck, and while the other scrabbled along Steve's arm to try to find his hand, Steve chuckled. He pulled his lips away from Tony's and started kissing down his neck.

"Steve, I— I—"

Steve pulled away. "Too much?"

Tony fisted the fingers of his free hand in Steve's hair to pull him in close again. "Don't stop."

Steve laughed, warm and hopeful against Tony's skin. "Yeah?"

"Yeah. God, if I didn't know you needed to go straight to Medical I'd bring you upstairs and take whatever you'd give me.

"You sure you want access to all that skin?"

Tony blinked through the haze of his want. "What?"

Steve pressed a kiss to Tony's lips. "I know things are more intense for you when it's skin to skin. Are you sure you want all... all this all at once? Don't try to tell me it isn't overwhelming, Tony. I can tell."

Tony shook off the haze and looked up at Steve. "I want whatever you're willing to give me, Steve. Whatever you want."

"Whatever I want?" Tony nodded. Steve searched his face. He must have found what he was looking for, because he swept Tony up in his arms and headed over to the elevator. "Well then. Penthouse?"

"You still need to go to Medical." Even Tony could hear how weak his protest was.

Steve smiled down at him. "After, Tony. I just want to have this for a moment. I don't want to let you go yet."

If Tony had thought he was weak for Steve Rogers before, it was nothing to the way he felt now that he'd kissed the man. "Okay. But Medical after?"

Steve kissed his nose, sending butterflies through Tony's chest. "After."

Tony closed his eyes and sunk into Steve's warmth. "Okay, then. JARVIS?"

"Yes, sir."

"Penthouse."

"Certainly, sir."

Medical could wait.


End file.
